Nigerian Traditional Weddings Part5

So, if you’re Akwa Ibom and you’re planning on getting married pretty soon or you are just one looking to acquire knowledge, you should enjoy this read.
It all begins when the groom-to-be schedules a date for “Locating the In-Laws {Ndidiong Ufok}”. In Akwa Ibom, this is the first stage in the process of getting married. The idea is simply to allow the groom to locate the house of the bride’s parents. In the words of a native, “to know the road to the bride’s family house” and relay his intentions to them. Back in the day, it was advised that the groom comes alone or with a friend and a bottle of wine. It is rumored that the reason for this was, to ensure that if the parents were going to reject the groom, it could be done quietly and with very little family members present. It is just a casual visit to the bride’s family. Once the groom has been approved by the family, he is allowed to make formal his intentions. The date for this is entirely different from the day of the casual visit and is usually done whenever the couple deems fit.

The next stage is called Knocking {Nkung Udok}. This is the formal declaration of intentions. Here, the groom-to-be after being approved by the bride’s family comes over to the bride’s family house again. This time with preferably an elderly member of his paternal family, although in cases where no such person exists, an elderly man from the clan can take stead. The elder makes intentions known formally and presents a few bottles of drinks. After this is achieved, the groom’s family is invited for the introduction ceremony and a list of things to be presented at the ceremony is given to the groom’s family. The list will usually contain drink items and a few other things to aid the introductory ceremony.
Once the date for the Introduction {Mbop} is set, the groom and his entire family or able representatives as well the bride’s family assemble themselves in a chosen venue. Here, both families present a spokesman, with the bride’s family spokesman doubling-up as the moderator. In Akwa Ibom, the natives are very particular about food. They believe that all guests must be served food upon arrival in their homes especially in-laws. However, the decision to serve the prospective in-laws food before or immediately after the introduction is entirely up to you. Most families would rather serve the food first.

This is done because they believe that when a guest comes to your home, you welcome him/her, give food and ask, “You came to our house, we welcomed you, we fed you, now what are you here for?” It is at this point that the Introduction Ceremony commences. The families get to know one another by questioning each other. Family members also advice and pray for the couple. Once all the formalities are over with, the items that were requested are presented to the bride’s family for crosschecking and approval. Once the items are approved, another list is drawn up for the groom’s family to be presented at the traditional marriage. The bride price is also negotiated.
The traditional Marriage {Usoro Ndo} is the wedding proper. The items on the list ought to have been presented prior to this day to ensure that everything requested for is provided before the date. On this day, the groom and his family make their way to the bride’s village. Of course they may have arrived sometime earlier, but that it is said that they arrive that day. Upon their arrival, the women and children of the village barricade the entrance with road blocks. The women and children make their request known to the groom’s family and it is the duty of the groom and his people to provide whatever they request on the spot. It is said that this is done because the women cut the grasses on the roadside and children sweep the road, so they must be paid for their services. When this has been settled, all the invited guests move to the marriage venue except the groom and his friends who are taken to a separate location.
The event kicks off with beautiful meals presented neatly for the guests. The spokesman at the event introduces each meal and explains to the guests that the daughter to be married can prepare every single meal mentioned and presented. Akwa Ibom people pride themselves with their ability to cook well and cook different varieties of food. The food presented could vary from appetizers to proper meals such as, Cassava chips and coconut {Edi ta iwa}, Roast corn and pear, Roast plantain and palm oil, Palm kernel and garri, Afang soup, Edi tan soup, Edi kang ikong soup, Atama soup, Ekpan nku kwo and loads more.
All the different kinds of food are served to everyone present including the groom in his separate location. After eating, the groom’s family is ushered into the main venue. The bride and her entourage are danced in to commence the marriage proper.

Nigerian Traditional Weddings Part4

HAUSA CULTURAL WEDDING EVENTS
Due to the diverse ethnicity in Hausa land, the cultural wedding events varies but the most commonly used by most Hausa people are as follows;
KAMU
This is one of the historical events in the Hausa cultural wedding which dates back to the origin of the hausa people, kamu signifies the cleansing of the bride, henna mixed with some herbs, scents and flowers of plants are applied to her body covering most part of the body for just some minutes, which is later washed away with a mixture or flowers and perfume in water. This mixture smoothing’s the skin and making the bride look fresh and more attractive. Another mixture of henna is used to make beautifully decorated designs on the bride’s hands, palms and legs. Henna design makes the bride not only astonishing but unique.
KAYAN LEFE
This refers to the clothing the groom presents to his bride, well arranged in boxes or bags ranging from materials of different kinds, shoes and bags, cosmetics to jewelries, the Holy Qur’an andpraying carpet areincluded in the” kayan lefe”. The “kayan lefe” is presented by the groom’s family either before the wedding day or on the wedding day. The groom’s family is also presented with gift items in terms of cash or kind by the bride’s family as appreciation.
WEDDING FATIHA
This is the most significant event in the Hausa cultural marriage, it is done at the brides residence or at the mosque, family and friends of both the groom and bride gather at the location to witness the wedding vows, unlike other marriages the wedding vows in the hausa cultural marriage is done by the representatives of the groom and the bride preceded over by an Islamic leader witnessed by many invited guests. Prayers are offered to the newly wedded couple and celebration continues.

CONVEYING OF THE BRIDE TO HER MATRIMONIAL HOME
After the wedding fatiha, immediately or much later depending on the arrangement, the bride is accompanied by family and friends to her new home whom are well received by the groom’s family. This is not the end of events in the hausa cultural marriage.
In some parts of hausa land the “sayan baki” which is a friendly debate between the groom’s men and the bride’s maids, debating on the amount to be paid before the bride speaks to her groom. This is a way of making them to socialize and later have a greater relationship which is marriage.
In another part “Budan kai” meaning the “Unveiling of the bride” is another event organized by the groom’s family in order to honor and welcome the bride to her new family. During this occasion the bride is presented with gifts both in cash and in kind

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“Walimah” is also an event which normally follows the “Budan kai” it is the recitation of the Holy Qur’an and preaching on how to live a marital life and other issues. Food, drinks as well as other pleasantries are always available in the Hausa cultural marriage events.
These events are mostly done by the Muslims of the Hausa land; the Christians have their own cultural wedding events.

Nigerian Traditional Weddings Part3

In Igbo Land, bride's price differs, just like in Imo State, but not all, especially Mbano and Mbaise areas do place an exorbitant bride price on their daughters, but not in all parts of Imo State! Culling from an experience, Ideato North and Ideato South have a moderate bride price! Anambra State, Enugu State, Abia State and Delta regions are good to go because they have a cheaper bride price on their daughters! But some parts of Ebonyi State do require a cow in place of a bride price, especially within Abakiliki axis!

After when the man has paid the bride price, the young lady and the man will engage in a courtship which will reasonably last for months, meanwhile in the interim, the young lady will be preparing for a three weeks stay at the man's house, and this is tribally called "izu-na-ato" in Igbo terms. After when the lady had finished her three weeks stay at the man's house, she will come home with gifts bought for her by the young man that paid her bride price. After that the young man will be preparing to pay a visit to the lady’s house so as to collect the list of what will be needed for the Traditional Marriage Ceremony fondly called "Igba-Nkwu". The list will include what the lady’s kindred Umunna, females from her kindred who are married Umuada, her fellow females Umu-agboghobia etc will require.

The requirements are usually kegs of palm wine, tribally called "nkwu-elu" or "mmanya-ngwo", Kola nut "Oji Igbo", Alligator pepper "Ose Oji", cartons of beer e.g. Star, Gulder, Harp, 33", Hero (Ooompa!), Legend, Guinness Stouts, Bottled or Canned malt, Soaps, Textiles etc depending on their demand. Some towns like Achina, Umuchu, Akpo, Umuomaku, Enugu-Umuonyia, Nkpologwu, Amesi, Uga, Ekwulobia, Oko, Umuona, Oraeri, Ezinifite, Onitsha, Ichida etc usually have a cheap bride price! When the young man have met the following requirements either in cash or physically presented, then the day of the traditional marriage ceremony will be negotiated between the man, the lady's family and her Kindred (Umunna).

After the negotiation of the ceremonial date, the next is for the young man to venture into printing of invitation cards for the marriage ceremony. This invitation cards will be used to invite people to the Traditional Marriage Ceremony, but some people, especially close relatives, will receive oral invitation, while some will be treated with specialty. The young man will also be preparing for the traditional marriage outfits too. The outfits will include traditional bridal attires (as pictured above), Ashebi girl's attires etc. A day before the D-day, some special preparations will take effect, such as erection of canopies, decoration of the whole ceremonial arena with balloons and fabricated nylon tapes etc. On the D-day, species of food will be prepared for the guests, buying of items like grinded groundnuts "Okwu-Ose", garden eggs "Anara", Alligator Pepper "Ose-Oji" and so on, which will be used for prayer and refreshment purposes. On the same D-day, a special seat, normally a cane weaved seat will be brought to the ceremonial arena, and to be positioned within the High Table circus. This ceremony is to be ignited with musical plays; sooner the music will be brought to a halt and will be preceded with a special prayer by an elder from the family using a cup of palm wine, kola nut and alligator pepper. This prayer is deemed to seek the protection of the Almighty God in the Traditional Marriage Ceremony, and as well to guide the bride and bridegroom in their marriage.

Nigerian Traditional Weddings Part2

The Yoruba traditional wedding ceremony usually kicks off with the bride’s family seated and waiting for the groom’s family to arrive. Both the groom and bride are absent at this point. Once the groom’s family arrive, the Alaga Ijoko welcomes them at the gate in the company of the the housewives of the bride’s side of the family. The Alaga then asks the groom’s family to state their reasons for coming before collecting an entry fee from them. Finally, she introduces them to the bride’s family before some prayers are said. After the introduction, the groom’s family kneels and prostrate before for the family of the bride. The two families then sit at opposite sides of the room, while the Alagas sit or stand in their midst.
Once seated, the Alaga Iduro presents the proposal letter to the Alaga Ijoko on behalf of the groom’s family. This letter is read out loud by a younger female representative of the bride’s family, such as the younger sister or cousin. An acceptance letter is then presented to the groom’s family before some prayers are said.

After the prayers, the groom dances in with some of his friends, and prostrates a total of four times. On the first two occasions, he prostrates for his new in-laws with his friends, before prostrating before them alone the third time. During this third prostration alone, the two families stretch out their arms to pray for him. Before he takes his seat, he prostrates one final time with his friends, but this time around, before his own family. He then gives out some money before taking a seat while awaiting his bride’s arrival.

Once the groom is seated, the veiled bride dances in accompanied by her parents and Ore Iyawo, who are usually some close female friends and female family members. She then kneels before her parents, who pray for her and bless her. She does the same thing with her husband’s parents, before taking off her veil and joining her husband. On getting to her husband, she kneels before him while prayers are said for both of them. He then gives her some money, before carrying her up for all to see.  At this point, the yoruba bride puts the groom’s fila (cap) on his head to signify an accepted marriage proposal.

Once the couple is seated, the Alaga Ijoko then asks the bride to select one of the many engagement gifts (eru iyawo) brought by the groom’s family.  The Eru Iyawo usually contains lots of food, and each item has some significance. At a yoruba traditional wedding ceremony, the bride is expected to select the Bible/Quran from the Eru Iyawo. This religious book will have her engagement ring attached to it. The bride gives her husband the ring, which he places on her finger for her to display happily to everyone.The groom’s family also present the bride price and fees requested to the family of their new wife.